The weather stinks here today, and I hear it is supposed to rain/snow up in State College for the Penn State versus Northwestern game...ugh. The games are always fun though, so that's good. Sometimes I like rainy weather, the smell, the fresh air (if it's cold), it's a refreshing feeling sometimes. I'm glad it is Fall and I can start wearing jeans and hoodies again. I have lost a bit of weight, so I think it's time I refresh my wardrobe for winter stuff.
Earlier this week my Mom called and asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I really had no plans, so I told her I would check with my friends and then get back to her. Turns out, some friends are going to come over tomorrow, but kind of late (8 or 9p) in order to let traffic die down. I asked my Mom if her and my Dad wanted to come over for dinner - but she said that she had already invited my Grandparents over for dinner. I don't know if it was in anticipation of me going home or what. Kind of hurt my feelings a bit that she didn't want to cancel with them and come down and see me on my actual birthday. I know it's not important, but now I am literally going to spend the entire day by myself (telecommute) and have birthday dinner by myself. Sucks. As if I didn't already feel lonely.
These gloomy, dreary days, especially my birthday, are the days I'd kill to lay on the couch with Alexis in my sweatpants and t-shirt. I can't really describe it, but we "fit" perfectly when laying together. Melts my heart thinking about it. I think about future gf's all the time and pray they are the same way. It's those little things that I am afraid of not ever getting back. It's funny, the feeling of love, the attraction, the daily interaction, the flirting, that stuff I feel confident that I can find again. But the laying on the couch, certain looks she'd give me, a million other "little" things are what I miss most. Made me feel like I really knew who she was deep down...but I guess that was wrong.
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